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Confessions of a peeping tom

August 18, 2012

By Emily Jones
Deluded Diva

After refinishing my wood floors last week, I was so inspired that I spent all day yesterday rearranging the house. Well, all except for one guest room and my master bedroom closet — I’ve got to psych myself up or get some drugs and therapy to get through those rooms.

I had forgotten how refreshing it is to rearrange. It’s almost as if you have a new home and you haven’t spent a nickel.

I’d rather go over Niagara Falls in a barrel than deep clean the house, but a re-do can be fun. Although I’ll never be awarded the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval, I have a few suggestions on how to have a blast while cleaning out and sprucing up your lair:

1. Put on some music — the louder the better. I put on some Keb Mo. In case you don’t know Mr. Mo, he specializes in what I call country blues straight from the banks of the Mississippi Delta. If you can’t “get down” with Keb Mo, you’re hopeless. 

I tired of Keb after about three hours and moved to Italian opera. I sang along at the top of my lungs even hitting a note here and there.  Unfortunately I can’t talk today and Lucky Dawg and Rebel appear shell shocked.

2. Now to the tough part. Rearrange the furniture. This serves two purposes. It forces you to declare war on the dust bunnies hidden under your furniture, and it gives you a whole new perspective. Who knows, maybe things will even flow better. Just be sure to turn on the lights if you get up in the middle of the night or you’ll end up with bruises, and maybe a broken nose. Trust me on this one.

3. Beg, borrow or steal some of those dandy furniture moving discs you shove up under the furniture to let them glide the heavy stuff to their new home.

I borrowed some from my neighbor, Brenda, and waltzed around the dining room, pushing my 300-pound armoire with one finger. There’s nary a mark on my newly shined floors. Unfortunately I smashed one of the discs so I ordered a new set for Brenda along with a set for myself.   Hands down, these beat a 6-foot, 200 pound man when it comes to helping move the furniture. They don’t complain, talk back or ask you to make them a sandwich.

4. Load up anything you don’t absolutely love, toss it in a box and take it to goodwill — or put it on the curb for someone else to enjoy. I heard if you put a price tag on the box, it will be gone in 30 minutes. Mission accomplished.  

I also pitched my collection of half burned down candles which I’ve been saving for some unknown reason. Now I have two drawers cleaned out in my Welch dresser and things don’t fall out when I open the doors.

5. Now, this final rule may sound a little weird even for me. Turn on all your mood lighting and go outside after dark and take a peak in all your windows. Yes, you’re going to become your very own peeping tom, but you might want to alert the neighbors so they don’t call the police.

You’ll be surprised by what you discover from getting this “outside in” perspective. If something is not right, you will discover it immediately. I don’t know why this works, but it does. In the dimly lit interior, my little house looked smashing. For a brief moment I wondered what lucky girl lived there.

Happy housekeeping, y’all.
Emily Jones is a retired journalist who edits a blog for retiring baby boomers facing retirement.  She welcomes comments at

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