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The Deluded Diva Speaks... Gaffes remind us not to take ourselves so seriously

November 11, 2010

For the past week, everywhere I go, people check to see if I have any underwear showing. This is a result of a resent column about static cling and my most embarrassing moment when I got caught in the supermarket with a bra stuck to my sweat shirt hood.
The column has generated a barrage of notes from readers relating similar moments. By far, the best came from Ruthie Hollis of Jackson.
“Your escapade reminds me of another story I heard along these lines,” she wrote. “In my former small town (Anguila, MS), my friends had altar duty and discovered they had failed to get the alter linen in time to starch and press it. So, they ran home and tossed it in the dryer to remove the wrinkles.”
“When the preacher folded back the communion cloth for the congregation, a pair of ladies panties were attached to the cloth due to static cling. The preacher tried to kick the panties over towards the choir loft while they all watched. The members of the choir started laughing to the point of hysteria all the while the congregation thought someone had in the choir was stricken ill.”
My friend, Lulu, told me she was in the restroom at Wal-Mart the other day when a lady’s upper dental bridge fell in the toilet. The lady fished it out and washed it off. “I would have amputated both arms before doing that!” Lulu exclaimed.
Ginger Carver of Starkville recalled her first day of work at Oktibbeha County Hospital. She was nervous and determined to make a good first impression. As she worked her way down the lunch buffet with her new colleagues, her lab coat sleeve hung up on the catsup dispenser and she flung the red stuff all over herself and anyone else close by. At least it happened in a hospital where red stains aren’t all that uncommon.
Robert Harrell of West Point, has taken the social gaffe to new heights on several occasions. He was on his way to a cocktail party recently with some guys. They suggested he bring a jacket since it was a semi-formal affair. Not wanting to go back into the house, he took a coat off a nail hanging in his garage and hopped in the car. At the party, someone approached him and whispered, “Did you know you have a dirt dauber nest hanging on your back?”
On another occasion, Robert had borrowed a friend’s car. He glanced at the passenger seat and spotted a breath spray. He squirted a bit in his mouth and his hair stood on end. He stopped the car, ran up to a house and grabbed the garden hose to wash out the taste, then promptly passed out in the yard. He had “maced” himself!
Former newspaper columnist Edith Teasley tells about the time she attended a swanky wedding reception. She was attempting to serve herself some potato salad when her contact lens fell into a bowl. She held up the line for days as she attempted to pick through the salad. Of course, she couldn’t see, so the task was impossible.
My point is this: Instead of being embarrassed when you commit social blunders, just enjoy them along with everyone else. A little humor can humanize us and lighten the load in a very scary world.

Emily Jones is a retired journalist who lives in Starkville. She edits a website for bouncing baby boomers facing retirement. She welcomes comments at www.deludeddiva.com.

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