Skip to main content

The Deluded Diva Speaks... Conspicuous consumption no longer cool

November 16, 2010

I read somewhere that showing off your latest tech toys, wearing tons of jewelry and parking a new ride in your driveway has become gauche.
Hip, hip, hooray! In this troubled economy, I could lose my job at any moment. In case you’re wondering, my current job is piddling and puttering, but I may have to give it up and return to the work force. I’m doing everything possible to avoid losing my dream job.
The news that being a conspicuous consumer is no longer cool, made me jump for joy. In fact, I may be the coolest girl on the block.
My truck is going on 11 years old and I’ve begun coloring my own hair. I even tried cutting it myself and ended up looking like a green haired Buster Brown. (No one ever told me that you should never color gray hair with any shade that smacks of ash. I used a color called “light ash brown” and glowed a pale green for six weeks.)
I’ve begun reusing things I once threw away. That includes aluminum foil and the cotton swabs from vitamin pill bottles. Someone suggested I learn how to darn socks but I told them I know how – every time I wash my underwear, I scream “Where are my darn socks!!” I also know how to damn socks. I could give lessons if you are interested.
My heat hasn’t been turned on yet despite a few dips into the 30s. My drafty old house has 12-foot ceilings and in the best of times, when the heat runs non-stop, the only warm place is on top of a very tall ladder. What’s the point? For the first time since menopause set it, I’m cool as a cucumber.
With gas prices through the roof, I’ve begun coasting while driving down hills. Race up, coast down. I feel like a child again. I figure it saves on gasoline and it sure messes with the minds of other drivers.
For Thanksgiving I’m considering serving a big plump roast of Spam, with a side of Macaroni and Cheese – no, wait, hold the cheese. Dessert will be a NEW peppermint – not one from the bottom of my purse coated with unknown particles. What IS that stuff that peppermints attract?
Shopping with a handful of coupons is way too challenging. By the time I get around to using them, they’ve either expired or they’re stuck to the peppermints in the bottom of my purse.
One thing for sure. Keeping up with the Joneses – at least the lady who lives in my house - is no longer a very big deal.

Emily Jones is a retired journalist who lives in Starkville. She edits a website for bouncing baby boomers facing retirement. She welcomes comments at www.deludeddiva.com.

View more articles in:
The memories of April 21, 2008 when we went to the Boston Marathon still lingered in our hearts and souls on April 15...
Emily Jones Deluded Diva My neighbor, (I'll call her Brenda for the sake of anonymity), is one of the best things that...
By RUTH MORGAN For Starkville Daily News General Wiley Norris Nash was one of Mississippi as well as Starkville’s most...
Creation is imagination, and being a visual artist I'm attempting to be creative, inventive, and imaginative. To...
Monday was a really bad day.  Huey P, my oversized HP laptop computer, just up and died. He had no symptoms indicating...

 

Premium Drupal Themes by Adaptivethemes